eyegasm.

let it sink in.

have you ever

been in a situation where you've been wronged and you actually deserve an apology but end up trying to please the other person like he/she is the victim?

i hate that.

Sunday.

There will come a day when you'll feel like shit and you'll want to give up on this life and everything else.

When that day arrives, save yourself some trouble and don't do a thing.

Just take a nap.

Bill Rancic

is a saint. *swoon*

Seriously, where can I find a man like that?

Being at home sucks

when you realize how ridiculous your family is, and passion for fighting is the only thing you have in common.

Blergh.

Remember.

Well I gained a little weight again, and it got me thinking. Being fat means not being in control. And that's weird cuz according to his friends I'm a control queen ROFL (there are two sides to every story).
Anyway, I better be in control of my eating habits from now on.

Wake up, hiddie!

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deep impact.

Biarlah tak cantik di mata manusia,

asalkan cantik di mata Tuhan.

hmm.

My happy pill :)

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honey and the moon

But right now

everything you want is wrong,

and right now

all your dreams are waking up,

and right now

I wish that I could follow you

to the shores

of freedom

where no one lives

-Honey and the Moon, Joseph Arthur.

on life.

It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life—daily and hourly. Our answer must consist, not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual.

-Viktor E. Frankl (Man’s Search for Meaning)

books + guys = perfection.

if youre a guy and you like to read, youre hot.

fact.

thanks to hotguysreadingbooks, my world is a better place now :)

If I were a boy,

I would have kicked your ass and beaten you to death.

62 ways to show love

1. Say "I love you."
2. Don't compare them to anyone.
3. Be courteous at all times.
4. Embrace the present moments without fear or guilt.
5. Live by the Golden Rule (Do unto others….).
6. Give them your full attention when talking.
7. Become their biggest fan!
8. Toast each other regularly.
9. Tell them how they bring love to your life.
10. Share funny quotes or events.
11. Talk about your day during mealtimes.
12. Read books aloud together.
13. Say you're sorry.
14. Recall good and bad memories.
15. Let go any bad experience and anger.
16. Encourage health in all its forms.
17. Let the tears flow together.
18. Act silly together.
19. Be lavish in praise.
20. Ask questions about opinions, feelings, thoughts.
21. Forget about labels.
22. Encourage adventures and risks!
23. Show your joy when they come home.
24. Bake cookies.
25. Forget about past mistakes.
26. Use flannel sheets in the winter.
27. Solve problems together – crosswords or war.
28. Show your gratitude for them.
29. Be a good sounding board.
30. Take pride in them. Show your pride.
31. Compliment them in front of others.
32. Spend time with them.
33. Listen to them.
34. Ask for hugs and kisses.
35. Take vacations together.
36. Tell the truth.
37. Use pet names.
38. Practice self-acceptance.
39. Hunt for treasure together.
40. Be interested in their interests.
41. Let go of jealousy.
42. Accept their weaknesses and flaws.
43. Ditch work or responsibilities to play with them.
44. Share chocolates, ice cream sundaes, milkshakes.
45. Ignore slights.
46. Pray or meditate together.
47. Practice forgiveness.
48. Watch classic movies together.
49. Leave notes or send letters.
50. Buy a "for no reason" gift.
51. Don't gossip or judge.
52. Give the benefit of the doubt.
53. Give space when they're in a bad or sad mood.
54. Learn something new together.
55. Go dancing.
56. Keep your promises.
57. Make them laugh.
58. Consider their feelings.
59. Hide a treat in their lunch.
60. Make home a fun place to be.
61. Let them make their own decisions.
62. Say what you mean.

source: http://www.ruhanirabin.com/62-ways-to-say-i-love-you/

If you're wondering,

I like to make my rants public cuz I like attention.

Bye :)

This is my lunch ;)

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save the cheerleader, save her world.

i secretly call myself a cheerleader. no not because underneath my clothes theres a six pack and no i cant jump like that or bend like that or oh you what i mean.

wait wait wait hold it.

(new tab, youtube, shakira underneath your clothes, play)

okay where were we?

im a lousy blogger kan, annoying tak? haha

sorry sorry, lets begin.

you know, i am someone who cares a lot about my family and my close friends. keyword: a lot.

no matter what, i will still be there to cheer them on. i dont give up on them. ever.

and its taking a toll on me.

but it makes me sad when other people are sad. but i guess i shouldn't worry about other people's happiness. especially not at the expense of my own, when they didn't even care if i care. right?

wrong.

well i know what youre gonna say. you'll say "be like me, dont care too much and your heart wont be broken".

and you'll think i'll be better off w the world w that attitude.

then i'll secretly think that youre just not being careful w my heart but will say "i'll try" instead.

and then i will go about living my life, smiling like always and answer "i'm fine" whenever anybody asks how am i doing.

because thats what the society wants to hear, and because that's the right and mature thing to do.

:)

p/s: i wish there's a "DELETE" button or a "Empty Recycle Bin" button in life. that would be fantastic, innit? :P

You know what makes me happy?

My baby brother teehee
He's clad in approximately 5 tshirts so that he could look stwong ;)

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Masih tak puas hati.

Sebenarnya senang je.

Kalau tanak buat atau dah tau tak boleh nak buat, jangan janji in the first place.

And nobody will get hurt.

But you promised.

I mean, the fact that you can easily forget how important it was amazed me.

But who am I to say no?

quarter life crisis.

according to wikipedia,

Characteristics of quarter-life crisis may include:

• realizing that the pursuits of one's peers are useless
• confronting their own mortality
• watching time slowly take its toll on their parents, only to realize they are next
• insecurity regarding the fact that their actions are meaningless
• insecurity concerning ability to love themselves, let alone another person
• insecurity regarding present accomplishments
• re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships
• lack of friendships or romantic relationships, sexual frustration, and involuntary celibacy
• disappointment with one's job
• nostalgia for university, college, high school or elementary school life
• tendency to hold stronger opinions
• boredom with social interactions
• loss of closeness to high school and college friends
• financially-rooted stress (overwhelming college loans, unanticipatedly high cost of living, etc.)
• loneliness, depression and suicidal tendencies
• desire to have children
• a sense that everyone is, somehow, doing better than you
• frustration with social skills

*gulp*

Again and again.

I don't get myself.

I don't understand why do I keep on talking to mother. She's freaking ridiculous, thinks she's right all the time.

And I really really should stop confiding in her. I have never gotten the comforting words or the support than I needed. I get emotional beating instead.

When will I ever learn?

Stop hoping that she will understand and be gentle and support you and hug you, hidayah. She's not that person. Stop hurting yourself.

sucky saturday.

this is the last weekend that kak siti is around. shes going back to indonesia for a month next week.

which means ill be grounded w house chores every weekend and this is the only weekend left to hang out / date / watch movies etc.

but i am home now. i am supposed to go out but im not. halkhcajkhuckyasidhwei198274oiu4jkhnfklhjioaysdbbs%*7ahduha#$^7ihdnajkgduafbzjxkhcjkhdsfioyfdkhaldhkhcsv!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i was actually looking forward for this weekend. but sigh sigh sigh, disappointed again. things like this makes me sad.

to make things super lame i have the school reunion dinner meeting tonight.

babi ah.

:'(

Duwoop

I finally managed to figure out how to not let the celcom vodafone thingy show up after every posts if I use the mail to blogger method.

All I gotta do is type '#' and follow by the word 'end' with no space in between.

Yeayy.

Leaders.

Leaders are meant to make decisions.
Leaders are not supposed to please everybody.

If you're into asking for everyone's approval, then don't even bother. Cuz you're wasting everybody's time and soon people will lose interest.

Just sayin.

Saturday morning.

Its a beautiful saturday morning and I'm pissed.
Its early I don't even know why I'm freakin awake. I was supposed to sleep in, dammit.

The fact that he can't put an effort to tell me his where abouts sucks. And it hurts.

Is that too much to ask? It will only cost him two effin minutes to bbm me. That's all I need.

Sigh, I guess some things just don't change.

everybody say yeah

i like her outfit.

can i wear that to work?

Attention, please.

It sucks to realize that your family doesn't understand you.

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About me.

I care too much about the people who matters to me.
I like to read and pretend that I am one of the characters inside the book.
I always find reasons to relate to a movie.
I want to be a better person but often find myself have difficulties doing the right and mature thing to do.
I don't eat fish.
I always wake up in the middle of the night hearing my dad's loud chesty coughs and cry myself to sleep after that.
I love my baby brother to death and I am not ashamed of him (he has down's syndrome).
I don't think I can live without my family eventhough I spend every weekend being angry at them.
I want to be defined as someone who puts her family first.
I'll be honest, I can't wait to get married because I want to be a woman that I am supposed to be and I know I will be a good wife.
I love ally mcbeal, scrubs and bones.
I hate uncertainties.
I love eating chocolate bars and cakes because they are consistent, always sweet, kind and comforting.
I wish I have enough time to hang out w every one of my friends.
I hate one of his friends so so so much I wish he doesn't exist.
I know I am destined for great things.
I make mistakes.
I cry.
I am too honest most of the time.
I love corny / cheesy movies.
I secretly want to be a singer.
I am a good listener but that doesn't mean you can scream at me because you can't scream at the person you're mad at.
I am scared of a lot of things, but I am scared of my own thoughts the most.
I wish people around me would appreciate me more.
I am not as strong as you think I am.
I think too much.
I like to complain and whine.
I am thankful for what I have.

I am me :)

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map of hookups on gossip girl

LOL

and below is the top 10 omg moments of the gossip girl season 3

p/s: i havent watched it yet so dont tell me what happened okay?

simplify your life.

1. identify what's most important to you.

2. eliminate everything else.

Ten Reasons to Watch Less Television

by joshua becker.

Life is meant to be lived, not watched.

To get you started living your life rather than watching others live theirs, consider these ten reasons to watch less television:

1. It is influencing your worldview. Anybody who has ever been a policeman, a lawyer, a psychiatrist, an ER doctor, or an FBI agent will attest to the truth that television does not accurately portray their life. In almost all aspects, television rarely depicts the world and life accurately. Too much television results in disallusionment about what to expect from the world around us. This can most commonly be seen in people’s expectations of love, romance, and sexuality.
2. It is influencing your spending habits. If you think you are immune (or too smart) to be influenced by the power of advertisements, you are wrong. Corporations do not spend trillions of dollars in advertising hoping to influence you. They spend trillions of dollars because they know they will influence you.
3. It is taking you away from the real people all around you. The characters on television are not real. They are thought up in an office building and given life on a piece of paper. In contrast, you are surrounded everyday by real people living real lives. These real people are facing real problems. They need you. And you need them.
4. It is robbing you of precious mental energy. When your television is on, your concentration is held hostage. Your mental energy is drawn into the screen and your ability to control it is given up.
5. It is costing you money. Americans spend over $6 billion per year just paying for the electricity to power their television sets. Add in the cost of cable/satellite bills, dvd’s, movie subscriptions, peripherals … and we’re starting to talk about real money.
6. It impairs your capacity for rational thought. TV oversimplifies reality. It presents subjects in a matter of minutes and everything is nicely wrapped up at the end. This harms clear thinking by conditioning you to expect that most problems have a simple, clear solution that can be implemented in 60 minutes or less.
7. It is bad for your health. Numerous studies (and common sense) draw direct parallels between excessive television watching and obesity.
8. It results in less satisfaction with life. According to the Journal of Economic Psychology, TV viewers report lower life satisfaction, higher material aspirations, and more anxiety.
9. It results in less sex. Couples who keep a TV in the bedroom have sex half as often as those who don’t. And if you ask me, that should be reason enough…
10. Its opportunity cost is too great. The average American watched an average of 5.1 hours of television per day in 2009. That’s time you could have spent exercising, eating a meal together, entertaining, enjoying nature, meditating, enjoying a hobby, reading a book, or fulfilling a dream.

http://www.becomingminimalist.com/2010/05/14/ten-reasons-to-watch-less-television/

yes, you can.

you can have anything you want - if you want it badly enough.

you can be anything you want to be, have anything you desire, accomplish anything you set out to accomplish if you hold to that desire with singleness of purpose.

-robert collier.

Ip Man 2 quotes.

1. don't let your ego hurt you.

2. is winning more important than having dinner with your family?

3. although people have different status in life, everyone's dignity is the same. respect each other.

- Ip Sifu.

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tuesday ramblings.

Gee, I've been writing a lot lately.

Does this makes me more narcissistic than I already am?

I write a lot prolly cuz I activated the mobile blogging thingy recently. Blogging on the go, just how I like it. But the tagline at the end of every post is kinda annoying, and I don't know how to turn it off. So that's gonna stay, sorry.

When I'm not talking to other people, I am always talking to myself. There are characters inside my head, and they are always having conversations w each other. Sometimes I participate in them, or comment on them; sometimes I just listen. And I prolly blog about them after this.

I don't know what this means, I don't think I'm schizophrenic or something. Am I?

Anyway, when I am not talking to people in real life I either talk to myself, or write, or doodle or dream about walking by the beach w justin timberlake.

Love,

me.

Yes, I am a dreamer.

Today was a good day.

Despite having a killer migraine, I had a really really good day.

Finally got my birthday present from mr. boyfriend. And it was gift worth waiting for. Guess what I got? A macbook pro!! Weehooo :)) :))

The initial plan was to get an ipod nano (I already have one and it was the first version). I was in love w the video camera that the latest generation has. Like, how dope is that, right?

So we went to the machines store at the gardens to check out the ipod. And one thing led to another, we found ourselves toying w the macbook pro. Took a brochure, went to simply thai to discuss it over a late lunch. Long story short, I got the macbook pro *dance dance* :)))

Went swimming w little bro at the club, and discovered that he can actually swim without his floats. It was something I've been dying to find out and I'm glad he raised to the occasion. I like exploring his talents, and he never failed to impress me either. I'm so proud of him today :)

Okay this could be nothing to the majority of people but to me this is such a big thing. I am terrified of cats. Yup, terrified. I decided to overcome my fear today and touched and stroked a cat. Whaddup. Haha. That was big for me okkayyy. Yeayy me :)

So yeah, today was a great day.

And hazim and I are in love all over again. The can't get enough of each other kind.

Life is good.

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I know this is wrong, but

I am secretly ashamed of my family.


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Psst, can you keep a secret?

I would like to be looked at the way he turns his head to look at other girls.

Note to self: must stop being too plain.

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You will have to choose eventually.

You cannot care for everybody.
You only have one heart.

Sooner or later you have to rank / choose the most important people in your life and forget about the rest.

I hope I made the list.

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Hujan.

Tadi saya jalan dalam hujan pegi dekat kereta, pakai baju kurung purple and payung biru. Dengan selipar rubi beli dekat singapore.

Bahu saya dua-dua basah, kain saya habis basah sampai lutut.

Tapi saya gembira masa berjalan tu, sebab saya suka hujan :)



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lucky im in love w my best friend

You make me smile like the sun

fall out of bed
sing like a bird

dizzy in my head
spin like a record

crazy on a Sunday night

You make me dance like a fool

forget how to breathe
shine like gold

buzz like a bee
just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh, you make me smile

:)

young talents.

like,

WHOA.

Sometimes

I just wanna be around people I'm familiar with and laugh at their jokes.

Anyway, I guess I should apologize. My blog has been emo-ish lately haha no I'm not sad or depressed at all. I'm okay. It just came off like that. Plus, I am one who likes to whine and is addicted to drama LOL

So how are you guys? How are things?

I'm fine. My bosses are all in Middle East so yeah, things are pretty slow at the moment.

Hazim and I are doing well, Alhamdulillah :)) we haven't been hanging out much lately but distance makes the heart grow fonder, right? *winks*

Umm dad is dad, sometimes he's weak sometimes he's okay. He had a medical check up last monday and found out that his heart is only functioning at 25% of its efficiency rate. Well that's mere logic, considering that he's been on dialysis for 9 years. Yeah, so that's that.

Oh we spent the weekend at the beach house in PD. It was relaxing indeed. It was raining a lot, all we did was sleep and eat haha and we all slept in till 11am on sunday ;)

I bought a book today, yeayy! Its called "Don't Be Sad" by 'Aaidh ibn Abdullah al-Qarni. It was originally written in Arabic and translated into English due to a high demand. It's a best seller, you should check it out. I've read a few pages while walking to the carpark earlier and I fell in love w it already. I need to pray more, and praise and thank God more often and as often as I should for what I have. *mental note*

Drove to work and then from work using the federal highway today. Traffic wasn't so bad. Parked at this new parking space at RM 5 per day, and the best part is its nearer to KLCC than the masjid parking lot. WIN :))

I have memorized the first verse of the nothin on you song. Yayyerrr.

Okay laa I'll be honest. I'm struggling a lil bit w the alexa chung haircut haha (Scroll down for a post haircut picture of me). I guess I was used to the low maintenance-ness of the long locks I used to have. W long locks, the messier the better right? So I didn't really give a hoot w my hair then. Scrunch it up and then tadaa, here comes the curls. Sadly, messy doesn't work w shoulder length hair. It has to be engineered to look a certain degree of messy to reach sexy. Daym. LOL

And that's it from me. I realised that my blog has been tumblr-ish lately, and yes I do remember bashing tumblr for the lack of originality in one of my older posts so I thought of writing down my updates of my mundane life :P Gee, I find it tiring to be a true blogger, you have to be narcissistic in order to yap about yourself haha

Anyway, drop in your updates if you're into it. Tell me about you, I'd like to know :)

Love,
Alexa Chung wannabe.

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biar.

mata tua yang memandang aku itu--
bundar
pudar

dia tak mahu bilang apa yang mencengkam jiwa usangnya
“biar”
katanya, “biar”.

wahai ayahanda
berhentilah walau sebentar
dan renungkan mataku yang melaut
khabarkan yang jujur dan ujar
apa menyerabut?

wahai ayahanda
bercukuplah menggagah tulang rapuhmu
akukan lemahmu
perikan penatmu
kisahkan jerihmu
aku mahu tahu

mata tua yang bagai ada sakti dewa-dewi itu--
harum
senyum

dipukaukan aku nan terus terpana dan terlupakan
“biar”
katanya lagi, “biar”

wahai ayahanda
bisikkanlah walau sekali
izinkan aku menumpangkan bahu
berikan aku seperca dari beban kamu

wahai ayahanda
lihatkanlah aku
berlari kini
melompat tinggi
setiapnya kerna kau tak pernah pergi

ah, apa masih ingat lagi
aku suka lari-lari?
kau bagaikan tak peduli
ku biar kau patah hati

ah, apa masih tidak lupa
tengking jerit sama-sama?
makan tak mahu semeja
sahabat lebih berharga

ah, apa mampu kau sudikan
ampun maaf ku sujudkan?
bisa tidak kau teruskan
ku sesat kau tunjuk jalan?

ah, apa layak aku bagi?
tak terbalas sampai mati
kau sungguh yang paling tinggi
istanamu syurga nanti

http://fynnjamal.blogspot.com/

and i cried me a river listening to this song.

so it's not gonna be easy.

Young Allie: You arrogant son of a bitch.

Young Noah: Would you just stay with me?

Young Allie: Stay with you? What for? Look at us, we're already fightin'

Young Noah: Well that's what we do, we fight. You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you are a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you're back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing.

Young Allie: So what?

Young Noah: So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? 30 years from now, 40 years from now? What's it look like?

-Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook.

true love.

"I finally understood what true love meant...love meant that you care for another person's happiness more than your own, no matter how painful the choices you face might be."

— Nicholas Sparks (Dear John)

do you love yourself?

"You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are … and that’s alright. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process, a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn’t do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it’s not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process, a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process, a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness." shawie9877

Learning how to love yourself is all about empowerment. Once you welcome all your true feelings, you become whole and your life becomes holistic. You experience oneness with others. You no longer compulsively search for oneness in the external world, whether with another person, or with a supernatural being (imaginary friend) in a future life. Instead you begin to experience oneness with all beings because once you can love yourself unconditionally, you become capable of loving others unconditionally too.

Action Plan

(1) Accept yourself for who you are and learn to love yourself just as you are;

(2) Accept your feelings and examine them closely so you can understand yourself mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually;

(3) Learn to direct your mind, body and emotions;

(4) Uncover core beliefs leftover from your childhood and replace the negative with positive;

(5) Strengthen your inner self and begin changing what you do not like about yourself;

(6) Witness the change in your self-esteem and self-confidence levels and celebrate your progress;

(7) Allow yourself to accept and others exactly as they are;

(8) Seek common ground but always celebrate differences;

(9) Practice The Four Agreements.

The Four Agreements:

1. Agreement 1 - Be impeccable with your word – Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
2. Agreement 2 - Don’t take anything personally – Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
3. Agreement 3 – Don’t make assumptions – Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
4. Agreement 4 – Always do your best – Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

source: thistimethisspace