i feel under utilized, but i have no energy left to keep this going.
i wonder if just stop trying, will things be the same?
better? or, worse?
but like my good friend always said to me, im too scared to try something new. so ill just continue doing whatever im doing now and keep a straight face.
i wish i am some independent, strong and self sufficient lady. someone who is able to exist without regular doses of romance or flattery from her partner. someone who would gladly receive love and affection whenever offered, but would step aside and take care of herself whenever her partner drifted off into his own universe until he misses her again.
anyway, i wish we dont have three fish ponds and a aquarium around the house. and oh, two turtles. or tortoise, whatever.
cuz i want a cat. i have this need of being w someone at all times. yeah im that clingy.
so im guessing ill be happier if i have a cat on my own, so we can cling to each other at all times. the idea of having someone i can talk to, without having the other party talk back is kind fun too haha
till i become strong enough to be a self feeder as described above, im going to continue to whine here in my blog, and believe that the beautiful picture on my mind will come true one day :)
song of the day:
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