finally accepting defeat.

i was in denial for the past eight months.

i know he has doubts, but i didnt want to acknowledge it.

and hoped and hoped and hoped and hooooopppppeeedddd

with my whole heart that the worst wont happen.

but it did.

and i know i cant change his mind.

no, not this time.

so this is me, accepting defeat.

finally accepting defeat.

silly, silly me.

accepting defeat.

served me right.

padan muka diri sendiri.

dont ask,

im obviously not okay.

no,

i dont wanna talk about it either.

just let me be.

chasing pavements.

will talk when im ready.

i have mastered the art of shutting up.

my girls and i would always bitch about our relationships whenever we hang out. realistically speaking, no one is ever blissfully happy in their relatioship. there would always be roadblocks, fights, crying saga, time-outs, you name it.

i was confiding in a friend one day, and she said: girl, just shut up. let him have the final say, and things will go back to normal before you know it.

oh boy, it worked!

now i am happy to announce that i have mastered the art of shutting up. let him have his say, i will get things done my way anyway :p so let him win the fight, let him have the crown. sometimes girls forget to give in.

so yeayy me.

im not too smart to be in a relationship anymore :)

p/s: H, i love you.

happy 26th anniversary bubbah <3

today is my parents' 26th anniversary. and yes, we call them bubbah. it started with my baby brother. he calls my mum bubbu and my dad babba. and bubbah for both. haha so weve been calling them that ever since.

so i stayed up last night to do a photo collage and a scrapbook and we will frame these two.

well, i tried :

photo collage of their courting days, with a picture of their wedding day in the middle ;)

a photo of their previous anni

details:

from good times, to bad times,

love conquers all

As you're completing another 365 days of your "Happy Together",

here's wishing for many more to come.

"Happy Anniversary"

and the mess i made

haha

happy anniversary bubbah

<3

p/s: i dont own one of those slr cameras, sorry for the blurry pictures.

oh, those shoes!

stand by your man

Sometimes its hard to be a woman

Giving all your love to just one man

You'll have bad times

And he'll have good times

Doing things that you don't understand

But if you love him you'll forgive him

Even though he's hard to understand

And if you love him

Oh be proud of him

'Cause after all he's just a man

Stand by your man

Give him two arms to cling to

And something warm to come to

When nights are cold and lonely

Stand by your man

And tell the world you love him

Keep giving all the love you can

Stand by your man

Stand by your man

And show the world you love him

Keep giving all the love you can

Stand by your man

-tammy wynette, stand by your man.

<3

love.

Love is patient, love is kind, love means slowly losing your mind.

and i have definitely lost mine.

childhood dreams

i always keep a tiny notebook in all of my handbags, to keep me occupied whenever im idle.

mostly i use these notebooks to:

1. play hangman; while waiting. waiting for my our food to arrive, waiting for the lecturer to come in, etc etc.
2. blog. i always have something to say, especially when im angry. this comes in handy when im stuck in the traffic jam. or when im waiting.
3. jot down quotes, taglines or anything that could be interesting to my eyes.
4. okayy this might sound funny, but i always have this hope of meeting someone famous (that i like) so i can go up to him/her for signature. but realistically speaking, who asks for signatures these days? even i wouldnt go up and ask for a signature haha take picture(s) yes, but not ask for signature. nope. thats just, too corny.
5. write down whatever lists, and how-to lists. to-do list, to-buy list, how to save money, how to lose fat effectively, and all that jazz. (like this one)

umm where was i?

ohh okayy.

so. i found this tiny book, a super old book in one of my drawers while i was looking for a knife to kill myself. kidding. i forgot what i was looking for, but i found a notebook. and in there, i wrote 'to blog about childhood dreams' in one of my to-do list. and this is what this post is about. my childhood dreams.

enjoy :)

hiddie's childhood dreams:

1. to win stuffed animals at funfairs. (it seemed impossible at that time, and still is)
2. to study/work/live overseas. (i took the petronas scholar, so i had to study in utp for 5 years and now im bound with petronas for 10 years. which means, there is no chance for me to work/live overseas now)
3. to be a doctor. (but changed my mind when i got an injection. from then on, i thought doctors are mean)
4. to drive a c class mercedes. (i was so in love with the car when i was 11)
5. to be a singer. (oh come on, everyone wants to be a singer!)

now, at the age of 24, i still havent achieved any of these silly far-fetched dreams. i took a different path which does not result with me being a singing doctor who drives a c class mercedes cruising in miami. and ive never won any stuffed animals either.

so where does that leave me?

1. im working with petronas, with an okay salary.
2. i drive a getz, which i am soooooooo in love with. dad offered me a new car, but i refused cuz i seriously love my getz.
3. i sing everyweek, with my friends, at redbox.

i think its safe to say that im happy. yeayy me.

cheers.

<3

feeling fat?

head on to these fat blogs:

fat girls like nice clothes too

fat stylist

heyy fat chick!

communications of a fat waitress

big fat deal

the curvy fashionista

too fat for fashion - my fav :)

wanna know what i think?

1. the malaysian education system is a joke. no wonder we have jokers as politicians.
2. jessica simpson and nick lachey should totally get back together. they were made for each other okkkaayyyy.
3. morning showers are therapeutic. i dont know about you, but it sure works for me.
4. girls should really really wash their hair everyday. if you can smell your own hair, i can too.
5. doctors should invent sweet tasting pills. not too sweet though, we dont want to end up having bad teeth or addicted to pills. well you know what im saying.
6. whoever stole my phone better not share those pictures. or ill wrestle you in hell.
7. if you dont want to help yourself, dont ask for help or advice please.
8. if your man loves you. treat him right. loving a female is not easy. who are we kidding? so, stroke his hair, say thank you and please, treat him dinner/lunch and let him pick the restaurant/gerai, give him bjs whenever he deserves them, etc etc. nice guys dont come easy these days, so do the right thing bitches.
9. dont ever ask someone 'when are you getting married?'. its like asking 'why are you fat?'. let them be.
10. i love hazim.

okay bye.

i want all theeesssseeeeeeeee

in no particular order:

okayy thanks.

oh crap. my parents joined facebook.

haha no, luckily my parents are not that up to date.

check out this website, hope it will make your monday too :)

Oh Crap. My Parents Joined Facebook.

hoi.

pegi mati laaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

make you feel my love.

When the rain is blowing in your face

And the whole world is on your case,
I could offer you a warm embrace

To make you feel my love.

When the evening shadows and the stars appear,
And there is no one there to dry your tears,

I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love.

I know you haven't made your mind up yet,
But I would never do you wrong.
I've known it from the moment that we met,
No doubt in my mind where you belong.

I'd go hungry; I'd go black and blue,
I'd go crawling down the avenue.
No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love.

The storms are raging on the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret.
Though winds of change are throwing wild and free,
You ain't seen nothing like me yet.

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true.
Nothing that I wouldn't do.
Go to the ends of the Earth for you,
To make you feel my love.

omg!

Psst.

There's a gig this July. With an all-girl line-up. And perhaps a boy or two in skirts/baju kurungs.

Details are as follows:

What: Girls Out Loud
When: July 19 (Sunday) @ 7 pm
Where: Food Foundry, Section 17, PJ

Gregarious girls up for performing, contact us: nowhitespace@gmail.com

i loooovvvveeeee project omg <3

chasing pavements

I've made up my mind,
No need to think it over,
If i'm wrong I aint right,
No need to look no further,
This ain't lust,
This is love but,

If i tell the world,
I'll never say enough,
Cause it was not said to you,
And thats exactly what i need to do,
If i'm in love with you,

Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If i knew my place should i leave it there?
Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere

I'd build myself up,
And fly around in circles,
Wait then as my heart drops,
and my back begins to tingle
finally could this be it

Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If i knew my place should i leave it there?
Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere.